I cannot even recall how many battles
I fought, but I know there were many.

I have spent hours, days, sometimes weeks
thoroughly planning ahead, gathering data
obsessively, checking and rechecking facts
until my head was spinning, and
my strategy was meticulously laid out.

I cringe at the waste of energy
as most battles never even took place,
yet in my mind, I already had felt
the pain of injuries I was expecting,
and had treated others cruelly,
some of them very dear to me.

And in the end, the most painful thing is
that I can never be sure
if the negative energy of my thoughts
reached my unsuspecting opponents.

 

© november child
Artist: Owen via Photobucket

 

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